Jenny was no stranger to rape. She had a troubling childhood that few people knew about. At 14, Jenny and her family moved to a small village just south of their hometown. Jenny had to make all new friends, who were unfortunately her downfall. Jenny's sister, Missy, was sent to prison at 16 for armed robbery and was serving a 3-year sentence at Dwight Maximum-security prison for women. Missy's situation made things harder for the whole family. Jenny's mom, Mary, had gotten a new boyfriend, and it seemed like he would be around a while. Mary's boyfriend, Bill, was a good guy, but he and Mary got into fistfights regularly, which had a very bad effect on Jenny and her, little sister, Mandy.
Mary, in an attempt to keep the past from repeating itself, became convinced Jenny was doing the same things Missy was at her age. Mary insisted Jenny was doing dugs, drinking, and having sex, although none of that was true. The fact that her mother was constantly telling her how bad she was and the things that she thought Jenny was doing, made her want to rebel more than ever before. Jenny made friends with "the lake kids", the boys that lived in her neighborhood by the lake. Her sister, Mandy hadn't made any friends yet, and was upset that Jenny wouldn't let her hang out with her friends too. Sometimes Mandy would just sit outside playing in the dirt as she watched her older sister joke and cut-up with her friends. Jenny felt horrible when she noticed, but when she tried to involve her sister, all Mandy did was complain because they were listening to music too loud, or because someone was smoking. One of the boys, Brandon, broke into an abandoned trailer and invited all the kids to come there to hang out. Mary heard gossip about this trailer and called the police, which resulted in Jenny having a juvenile record. Jenny was now a 14-year-old juvenile delinquent. She was put on probation and had to do community service for 18 months.
In those 18 months, Jenny became a "cutter". She self-injured in an attempt to remind herself not to make the same mistakes twice. It was something she did to relieve the pain and anger she felt boiling up inside of her. She began wearing hooded sweaters all of the time to cover the marks she left on her arms. After her mom realized Jenny was cutting, she phoned her probation officer and the school. Jenny had to be checked for fresh cuts on a regular basis at her probation officer’s office. She would be ordered to wear only tank tops to her meetings and explain any new scratches. She also had to start seeing a special counselor at school each day for 30 minutes to help her deal with her emotions better.
Mary, in an attempt to keep the past from repeating itself, became convinced Jenny was doing the same things Missy was at her age. Mary insisted Jenny was doing dugs, drinking, and having sex, although none of that was true. The fact that her mother was constantly telling her how bad she was and the things that she thought Jenny was doing, made her want to rebel more than ever before. Jenny made friends with "the lake kids", the boys that lived in her neighborhood by the lake. Her sister, Mandy hadn't made any friends yet, and was upset that Jenny wouldn't let her hang out with her friends too. Sometimes Mandy would just sit outside playing in the dirt as she watched her older sister joke and cut-up with her friends. Jenny felt horrible when she noticed, but when she tried to involve her sister, all Mandy did was complain because they were listening to music too loud, or because someone was smoking. One of the boys, Brandon, broke into an abandoned trailer and invited all the kids to come there to hang out. Mary heard gossip about this trailer and called the police, which resulted in Jenny having a juvenile record. Jenny was now a 14-year-old juvenile delinquent. She was put on probation and had to do community service for 18 months.
In those 18 months, Jenny became a "cutter". She self-injured in an attempt to remind herself not to make the same mistakes twice. It was something she did to relieve the pain and anger she felt boiling up inside of her. She began wearing hooded sweaters all of the time to cover the marks she left on her arms. After her mom realized Jenny was cutting, she phoned her probation officer and the school. Jenny had to be checked for fresh cuts on a regular basis at her probation officer’s office. She would be ordered to wear only tank tops to her meetings and explain any new scratches. She also had to start seeing a special counselor at school each day for 30 minutes to help her deal with her emotions better.
"Wrong With Me
What is it that I do
To make it all go away
What I do hurts me too
But in a different way
So what can I do
To keep the pain at bay
It gets me dirty looks from you
But there's nothing you will say
Well, what do I do
To get myself free
You never even knew
There was something wrong with me"
What is it that I do
To make it all go away
What I do hurts me too
But in a different way
So what can I do
To keep the pain at bay
It gets me dirty looks from you
But there's nothing you will say
Well, what do I do
To get myself free
You never even knew
There was something wrong with me"
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