Dreams and fears

The next week is a blur. We go to the funeral home, set everything up. I stayed by Deanna's side, helping with both the kids all the way until the funeral day, which was 3 days after the wake, near Chicago. I remember the first time Derek kissed me after Dani died. I felt like he was just being a whore, but I needed him. I needed someone. I wasn't blood so no one thought that I might need a little support. Sometimes I really believe that just like soul mates- as in relationships, it also goes for friendships. I believe that Deanna and her family were meant to be my best friends/family for life. All that we've gone though, so much pain, so many good times, and so many memories. I will always claim them as my family, best friends, soul mates. I only hope that Tracy and I can someday settle our differences about the whole Derek thing. We have spoken about it, forgiven each other, and even hung out, but I can still feel awkwardness. Deanna will always be in my life, I've decided I couldn't get rid of her, and she couldn't get rid of me even if we tried out hardest!
Family is family no matter what kind, and family does not quit."

Dreams and Fears

Just like dreams, fears come true
We learned this when we lost you
Your dream came true
When he was born
But our fears came true
When you were torn
Your long life was ripped away
Now you watch us as we pray
And although we wish you hadn't had to go
We'll all make sure to let Xavier know
His mommy was strong, proud, and pure
We're all so lucky to have ever known her
She was so caring, sweet, and always true
And with every ounce of her soul, she loves you
She's watching us now, from up above
Sad that we must grieve, but sending all her love
She wants us to know, it'll all be okay
And that we'll all see her again someday"