Divorce plan

After Mark's blatant disregard for her feelings and their divorce plan, Jenny decided that it was truly the end of their marriage. She began talking with Mark's mom, Sharon, about getting an apartment. She assumed Sharon was on her side, after all, she agreed with Jenny that the drug use was unacceptable. Jenny soon realized that she was only looking out for what she wanted, which was Zachary to stay in her life. Jenny would never have taken Zachary away from his family. She began to rethink what she was doing. She couldn't stand to be away from her son anymore. She was still working more than full-time, and although the money was good and she could save up for an apartment, she had no time to go see her child. Jenny decided to go back home, for her son, not for Mark. She had been gone only 2 weeks, but it seemed like an eternity. Things grew worse by the minute while she was there. Mark was so angry that she still wanted to separate that he even locked her out of the house when she returned home after working an 11 hour shift. He wrote her letters trying to make her feel guilty and asking her to leave her son so he would feel better. She refused to keep living this way, but she had no idea what to do. She got very depressed and started drinking every weekend. She hated to be at that house while he was there, but he never left! They began fighting constantly anytime they were in the same room. Zachary started crying a lot more often and Jenny could tell the fighting was stressing her baby out too much.

Shawn was a friend to both Mark and Jenny when they were in high school, but neither of them had talked to him in a while. One night while Jenny was at a party, she bumped into him. She walked into the bar and saw him sitting in the corner. He had obviously lost weight since the last time she saw him, and even as rugged-looking as he was, he didn’t look too bad to her. She greeted him with a big hug and they sat and talked all night. It was 4 am before she realized it, so she rushed home to get some sleep; she still had to work the next day. Shawn and Jenny talked everyday on the phone. He called her on all her breaks at work, and she stopped by to see him every night when she left work. Not too long after, they had started a relationship. Jenny couldn't stand the idea of living in the same house with Mark while she was seeing another man, so she asked him to leave once again. This time was worse than the last, and Jenny became frightened of Mark's fiery temper. She went and got a hotel room for the week with Shawn. She continued to work and tried to see her son at least every other day. Just before Mother's Day, Jenny picked Zach up to go visit her mom. She brought along one of his toys from Mark's house and was on her way. Once they got there, Mandy's dog, Gracie, got a hold of Zachary's toy and chewed it up pretty bad. Jenny wasn't going to give her son a toy that was in a dog's mouth, so she threw it away. She dropped Zach back off with his father and he asked where the toy was. Jenny explained what happened to him, "No big deal, we can always buy another" she said. Mark became irate, screaming about how that toy was sentimental to him and he wanted it back even if it was chewed up. Jenny didn't understand what he was talking about. "Why the hell is a toy sentimental to you?" she asked her estranged husband. "Because Brittany bought it for him." he told her. "WHAT?" she screamed. "You have had your little crack head girlfriend around my child without my permission?" she urged him to say yes. "She's only been around him once" he tried to back out of the conversation.
*Smack*
Jenny smacked her husband's face as hard as she could. Mark started to run up the stairs, but Jenny was right behind him, still smacking him. He turned around and threw her in the computer desk and ran up the stairs. Jenny got up and ran as fast as she could, if she caught him, she wasn't going to use an open fist this time! Mark was inside Zachary's room, on the phone with the police. Jenny began punching her husband. "How dare you!" She screamed. He pushed her out of the room and stood against the door. He wasn't following the plan!

They agreed no other man or woman was to be around the baby unless the other parent met them and agreed that they could be near him. Shawn still hadn't met Zachary; Jenny was trying to follow their plan. Jenny went downstairs, got her son from Mandy's arms, gathered his things, and headed for the door. Mark stopped her and held his arm in front of the door. "You aren't going anywhere with him!" he yelled at his wife. "Yes, I am, Mark. He's coming with me, move please." she was much calmer now with her baby in her arms. Once the police arrived, Jenny went to the officer, explained the situation, and admitted fault. He simply asked where the baby was. Jenny told him she was taking Zachary with her to her mother's house. The officer agreed that was the best idea, and told her to go. Mark began screaming and protesting against Jenny taking their son. The officer threatened that if he didn't stop yelling he would be arrested. Jenny left that night with her child. The next day, she left Zachary with her mother so that she could get some of his things from the apartment. She was relieved to see Mark wasn't home. She still had her key; after all, her name was still on the lease, it was still her apartment, too. The neighbors called Mark and told him Jenny was there. Within 2 minutes Jenny was bombarded by Mark, his mom, dad, and his sister. Mark's sister, Lacy, actually tried pulling Jenny out of the apartment by her shirt. As Mark and Sharon began to scream at Jenny, he asked her where the baby was. She told him, or course, and out the door went Mark and his father. Sharon stood there yelling to the men, "Go on guys, go get our baby". Sharon and Lacy surrounded Jenny in the living room questioning her about what she was doing there. "This is my house, not yours. I'm getting Zachary's toys." Jenny tried to stay calm.

Sharon began screaming obscenities at Jenny about being a slut. Jenny tried to ignore them so she could finish gathering toys and go get her baby. By the time Jenny arrived back at her mother's house, Mark, his father, and his sister were standing outside as Mark talked to the police on the phone. Jenny went to the back door and asked her mom to let her in. She locked the door behind her and took her precious son back into her arms. The cop came in and asked if Jenny was the mother. He said that he would make Mark and his family leave, but if Jenny hadn't been there Zachary would've gone to his father. Now Jenny couldn't be away from her child for even one second or Mark and his family would take him away.

Thinking

They think that you
Are the good one
They think that you
Were the one wronged
They think that I
Am a whore
They think that
I screwed up
They think that we
Never should have been
They think that we
Were doomed anyway
You think that I
Hurt you most
You think that I
Am just a bitch
You think that you
Were perfect all the way
You think that you
Did everything for me
I think that you
Lied to me
I think that you
Stole from me
I think that you
Wronged me
I think that you
Hurt me
I think that you
Ruined me

Ligalities and Goodbyes

It was May again. This would've been Mark and Jenny's 3 year anniversary. Jenny's father fixed up a trailer for her to live in until she got on her feet. She cared about her boyfriend, Shawn, but felt more like his mother than anything. He was deeply disturbed and she saw this more each day. Zachary had just had another surgery. During the trip Jenny tried to rekindle the love between her and her estranged husband, but he wanted nothing to do with her. She was so confused and depressed. She didn't want to be with Shawn anymore, but wasn't sure how to break it off with him. He had nowhere else to live and she was supporting him. She let things just go on the way they were going for a while. She was bored with Shawn and was starting to despise him for turning her into the mother he never had.

Her younger cousin, Sabrina, was diagnosed with bone cancer a couple years earlier. Jenny got a phone call from her Aunt Molly telling her that Sabrina had taken a turn for the worse. "Sabrina won't make it much longer. They have her on a lot of morphine right now for the pain. She's been screaming for you for hours now. She thought she saw you walk past her room and started yelling your name. I had to tell her you weren't here, but now she's begging for you to come see her." Jenny's aunt knew it was time although Jenny refused to believe it. She told her sisters and mom about the phone call and told them she'd be leaving the next day to go stay the night with Sabrina. None of her family wanted to go, but Jenny refused to just not go, so she went alone. She was devastated to see her cousin so weak and in so much pain, but if Sabrina wanted her there, she wasn't going to leave her side. After her visit, Jenny had to return home, she had a baby waiting for her.

About a week later, Jenny got the call. The same call she got when her Aunt Sandy died and the same as when "Mom Brenda" died. She hated those calls. She was sick of getting those calls. "Are you trying to take every single person I know away from me?!" She begged God for an answer. At the wake, Jenny thought she was doing well. She was being strong for everyone, especially for Sabrina's mom and brother. Jenny kept it together. She kept it together until she walked up to her cousin and realized she was really gone. Jenny lost it. In front of everyone she finally broke down and sobbed so loud that the children outside were asking what was going on. Jenny ran outside trying to breathe. She ended up sitting in her car alone, crying her heart out and cursing God. Sabrina died at 18 years old from cancer and there was no bringing her back.

Zachary had another cleft surgery in June. Jenny was ready for this one. She knew the drill and wasn't afraid or upset. This surgery would be the worst, though. This was the one when the doctor would put Zachary's palate, the roof of his mouth, together. This time it would take several months to heal, it would be more painful than all the other surgeries, and it would slow down his progress in speech and eating. Jenny wasn't worried. She knew she and her son would do just fine as long as they had each other. His eyes and face were black and blue and the poor baby looked like he had been in a horrendous fist fight at only 2 years old. One day while Jenny was in town to let Zach visit his father, she stopped by her best friend, Deanna's house. Deanna, Derek, and Danielle were all living there. Deanna had a 1 year old daughter, and was 6 months pregnant with her son, Derek was divorced, and Danielle was almost 9 months pregnant. Jenny told them about Shawn, all his disturbed thoughts, and that she didn't know how to break it off with him. Derek jumped up and told everyone to get some things together, they were going with Jenny. She was happy that someone cared; she had forgotten what family felt like. Her friends gathered their things and in 2 cars, they all traveled to Jenny's trailer.

That night, Derek took over. He got on the phone and broke it off with Shawn for her. All Jenny had to do was tell Shawn, when he came to get his things, that she didn't want to be together. He took his things and left. That night, Jenny felt like she was finally at home. She had her son, Derek, Danielle, Deanna, and Deanna's daughter Gracie with her. The only thing missing was "Mom Brenda" standing in the kitchen yelling at one of them to do the dishes or be quiet. Derek jumped into her bed before she even noticed. Once, the kids were asleep and dinner was put away, Jenny headed back to her room where she saw Derek, laying in her bed, making himself at home. She laughed. Derek was always like that, and she loved him for it. He sat his glasses on the nightstand and Jenny looked at him as she walked to the bed. She hadn't thought about it before, but she had known this family for 6 years now. She loved them all so much, and was so happy they came to help her. The court date for Mark and Jenny's divorce was set for the end of the month. Jenny had 3 weeks until she would be legally single again. Something she hadn't been since she was 16 years old. She was determined to do everything in Zach's best interest. Jenny gave her soon to be ex-husband very generous visitation guidelines. Zachary would stay with his father every other weekend as well as some time for almost every holiday and birthday. They were going to share joint custody, but Zachary would live with her.

Jenny and Derek became a couple as soon as she crawled into the bed that night. They weren't even intimate for weeks, but immediately something special was happening. This wasn't like Shawn or Mark, she thought. Something is different. After a couple weeks, Jenny got brave and spoke the words that truly terrified her. She said, "I love you". She hadn't expected a reply, but he said he loved her too. "You don't have to say things you don't feel. If it's not there it shouldn't be said." she explained to him, hoping he knew he didn't have to say it back to her, she would understand. "I know, and I say the same to you. Do you mean it?" Derek asked Jenny while looking into her eyes in a way she had never seen before. "I do, I love you." "And I love you." They smiled at each other and kissed.

Father's Day

Father's Day was a wonderful day for Jenny. She cherished every moment of that day and in the days following she wished she could just go back to that day and stay there. Jenny, Zachary, Derek, Deanna, Gracie, and Danielle all went to their apartment one block away from Mark's. Derek, who had been a good family friend for years now, took Zachary down to see Mark for the day. Derek told Mark that he was seeing Jenny and Mark was okay with that. Not more than 20 minutes later, Mark brought Zachary back to Jenny. He couldn't handle him because he was crying. Derek's kids were over for the day. He had 2 boys and 1 little girl from his past marriage. Jenny had taken care of his boys while his ex-wife was at work and he was incarcerated a couple years ago. Jenny loved every moment of this day. She played catch with Derek's oldest boy, read books with his youngest boy, and held his daughters hands while she tried to walk. Zachary played with the little girls while the boys played ball and the adults talked and joked around. Jenny looked around and saw what she had always wanted. A real family. She had always loved Derek's boys. They used to call her Aunt Jenny. Now that it's been almost 2 years, they barely remembered her name, but still latched on to her as if they remembered when she would rock them to sleep every night. At the end of the day, his kids went home with their mom. Derek went to the car and told Tracy, his ex, that we were together. Tracy was furious! "If I knew you two were together, I would've never let the kids come over here!" she fumed. In the next week drama seemed to be everywhere. Tracy was infuriated with Derek and Jenny.

Tracy claimed that she and Derek were trying to work things out and that he had cheated on her by being with Jenny. The kids were no longer allowed around Jenny. All the time she had spent taking care of those kids and now she wasn't even allowed to talk to them. She was devastated, but kept up with the motto she adopted during her fights to get her son; "Fight for what you want". She was sure that eventually, she and Derek would have rights to see the kids, legally or with Tracy's consent. In the midst of the stress with Tracy, Jenny had let the stickers on her car expire. She didn't have the money to renew them and neither did anyone else. Derek had the bright idea to take a valid sticker from a license plate at work and put it on Jenny's car. Jenny was worried about Danielle. Her blood pressure kept sky rocketing and they had no phone. Jenny refused to let anything happen to her "sister", so she did it.

One night, Danielle's blood pressure went off the charts. Jenny left Derek at home with Zachary and took Deanna, Gracie, and Danielle to the hospital. As they pulled up to the emergency room, a cop pulled them over. Danielle went inside and Jenny spoke with the cop. He ran her plates and saw her sticker was supposed to be expired. "It's a felony to falsify registration, ma'am" he said to her. Jenny was pissed off at this point. Something was very wrong with her friend and he was worrying about her car registration. He told Jenny he was towing her car. Deanna came over and began complaining that they would have no way to get home. "Well it doesn't matter because I'm taking her to county jail." At that point, Jenny was handcuffed. "You're under arrest for falsifying your registration, this is a felony and you are going to county jail." he said to Jenny. She started bawling like a baby. "Deanna, listen to me right now! Zachary needs to have a dose of his Tylenol with codeine every 4-6 hours. You have to take the big Q-tips and the saline solution and clean around the stitches on his mouth! Listen! Write it down! Deanna, honey, please, if my son dies I'll lose it, I can't do this! Check his shunt on the back of his head for any inflammation, if he starts to zone out you have to make sure he comes out of it! Make sure he doesn't get too hot he could have a heat stroke! Oh my God, Deanna, baby girl, I can't do this, I can't Mark's going to take my baby from me!" Jenny was hysteric. No one was trained to care for him after his surgeries. What if something happened while she was in jail, no one had money to bail her out and Mark would take her son forever?

The officer put Jenny in the back of the police car and began writing the paperwork. Jenny couldn't control her crying and by then everyone was watching. She had never been handcuffed or in the back of a police car before. She was terrified and embarrassed. "Okay. She's got a disabled kid at home, I'm gonna let her go on a misdemeanor." she heard the cop say over the radio. "Thank God!" she thought. "I'm going to let you go on a misdemeanor, but I still have to tow your car." he told Jenny. "As long as I don't go to jail, I'm happy" she thought to herself. "I like your shirt by the way" he said. Jenny looked down. She was wearing a shirt she made herself. It was a plain black tank top with the words "Got MILF" on the front. "Is he hitting on me?" Jenny questioned in her mind. Jenny got out of that sticky situation, but not without losing her car. The tow bill was more than the car was worth! Tracy didn't let up. Jenny even got into a heated argument over the phone with her about her relationship with Derek. "You took my family away from me! You were supposed to be my friend!" TracyTracy that she didn't know about them trying to work things out. Derek told her he was single. Tracy didn't care; she wanted someone to blame and that person ended up being Jenny. During the argument, Tracy said that if Derek didn't show up at her house within an hour, she would leave and he would never see his kids again. Jenny drove home as fast as she could, took Zachary off Derek's hands and told him what was happening. Jenny felt like she was losing the fight and she would never see the kids again. screamed to Jenny. She tried explaining to
She told Derek to go see his kids; she would be there when he got home. Derek argued with Tracy on the phone for an hour before he came inside again. He kissed Jenny, told her he loved her, and that he'd be back. That night Deanna's daughter, Gracie, fell asleep in Jenny's arms. She was in this big bed with her niece, but not her man. "Where is he? What is taking so damn long?" She wondered to herself. The next morning Jenny got up and looked around the house. No Derek. She knew. He left her. Deanna woke up and asked if he was home. Jenny gathered her emotions, looked at her best friend, which she now called her sister, and said, "No, he abandoned us, he's not coming back."

Derek's list

Later that day, Danielle showed up. She had a list. A list of Derek's things. Jenny had held on to the hope that maybe he had gotten a flat tire or something else had kept him away, but at that point, her heart was crushed. "I trusted another man with my heart, I said those 3 words. He said that he loved me…that's real nice. I can feel the love, let me tell ya!" Her thoughts ran over and over inside her head. She kept her cool and tried to act as if it didn't matter. She gathered his things and wrote her own list for him. It read:

$62.41 for your insurance payment I made yesterday
$4.71 for the pack of smokes I bought for you yesterday
$20.00 for the gas I put in your car yesterday
$60.00 for the camera I sold to pay your bills
Another car to replace the one you made me lose
Oh, and you can go ahead and keep your so-called 'love'
-Me"

Jenny had never been "left" before. She had no idea what to do. She let her guard down and now she knew she shouldn't have done that. Jenny called up a couple friends, got some alcohol and drank until she couldn't drink anymore. She resorted to cutting again. She was broken. The next week or two was a blur. She stayed drunk, day and night. Mark kept Zachary for her and she tried to recover from the massive heartbreak. The divorce day was here. Jenny went to talk to Mark early that morning, but it ended up more of a physical conversation than anything. Deanna kept Zachary as Jenny and Mark headed to court. They were divorced. They began casually dating after the divorce and Mark even stayed the weekends at her house until they broke up in October. Dating Mark didn’t take her mind off of the one that still had her heart though. She wrote a poem for Derek, but knew she would never give it to him:

Inexistent

I won't tell you
How much I miss you
Or that I sit wishing
You'd come back to me
I won't let you know
That I feel so alone
Or that I still love you
And wish you loved me too
I won't write this for you
And give you the satisfaction
Of knowing how much you meant to me
At one point in time"

Stole, July 2006

Jenny began dating her ex-husband again. She needed someone badly, and he was there. She came to visit at his place with Zachary on a regular basis. Although his friends now hated her because of the lies he told them when they split up, she ignored the stares and whispers and went on about her business. On several different occasions, though, she became furious with Mark for smoking weed with his friends in the house with their son. She couldn’t stop him of course, but threatened to not let Zach stay the night with him if he continued it.

Danielle was due any day, so Jenny gathered boxes full of baby clothes and bottles for the new baby, Xavier. Jenny couldn't stand to stay at the trailer alone, so she and Zachary had been staying with Mark, a block from Deanna and Danielle. Jenny took the baby things down to Danielle and sat to talk for a while. Deanna was at Tracy's place with her, Derek, and the kids. Danielle talked to Jenny about parenting. She was afraid, this was her first baby and she was going to raise him alone. Jenny told her everything she knew and everything she remembered "Mom Brenda" had told her about raising kids. She knew how upset Danielle was that her mom wasn't there for the birth of her first child, so Jenny did the best she could to reassure her and answer all her questions. They saw a neighbor drive by with subs bumping, music as loud as it could go, and a baby in the backseat. Danielle was furious! She vowed to never put her son through that. "Once they're old enough to tell you if it's too loud, you can turn it up, but if they can't communicate with you, there's no reason to have the music up that loud." Danielle explained and Jenny agreed. They also agreed that it wasn't right to smoke around small babies and that classical music was good for kids. Danielle told Jenny she was being induced that week and that she would call her as soon as they got home from the hospital.

The baby's first night home, Danielle asked Jenny to stay the night and help her take care of him. Of course, Jenny said she would. Every 2 hours, Jenny got up and changed the baby for her. She showed the new mommy the easiest way to make him bottles and the different ways to burp him. Danielle was exhausted, so Jenny took over for the rest of the night. It was time for Jenny to face her fears.

She needed to go home, back to the trailer. Jenny hated it there now. Everywhere she looked, she thought of Derek. She missed him and still hated herself for letting her guard down so soon. Jenny had no car, no phone, and was stuck 6 miles away from civilization. She made it a week before she had the urge to go back over to Deanna and Danielle's house. She didn't know why, but she knew she needed to be there. In the back of her mind, she was hoping to talk to Derek. She hadn't seen or spoken to him since the night he left. She needed an explanation, she needed closure. Jenny tried to use other outlets to make the pain go away instead of cutting, so she wrote:

"4 AM: I was awoken by my ex-husband. He said someone had come and banged on the door and that I needed to wake up. I sat up and tried to open my eyes, when I heard him say, the words I have grown to hate hearing from him, "You need to wake up, so-and-so's here." That always meant someone in my family has died, again. "Danielle's being taken away by ambulance." He said. "What's wrong, what happened?" He didn't know anything. I ran as fast as I possibly could, asthma attack and all, in my pajamas down 6th street at 4 am. I could see their place from my driveway, so as soon as I left out the door, I saw 2 ambulances, lights on, but no siren and I don't see anyone rushing anywhere. Confused, I was thinking maybe, she's okay, it was just a scare, maybe she had a bad asthma attack, and she's okay now. I get to the door, and immediately grab Danielle's pride and joy, little Xavier. He's fussy, and scared, 1 week old and dealing with all this confusion. As I feed the baby, Deanna's 1 year old daughter, Gracie, comes up to me whining and scared, begging for me to pick her up. Of course I do. So holding 2 babies at once, I finally start asking what's happening. Deanna's crying, freaking out hardcore. "It's just like mom, it's the same thing!" she starts sobbing even harder. I tell her, "Danielle will be just fine, you know she's going to be okay, don't think like that" "No, Jenny, She stopped breathing, she was turning blue! I had to do CPR on her. Gracie and Xavier saw it all!", now she's got that same terrified, scared to death look on her face that she had the day mom died." Deanna honey, you're strong, we can do this, Dani isn't going anywhere, just take a deep breath, and we can do this." I reassure my best friend, honestly believing what I was saying. We load up the kids and diaper bags. Derek and Tracy show up, wonderful. I don't think I can handle this. We all meet up at the ER. Where we wrestle the two kids, while trying to deal with the fact that none of the nurses or doctors will tell us anything at all. Deanna is calling their father, telling him what happened, when the doctor starts gathering everyone into a small room to the side. They come up and tell Deanna they need to talk to her, but she's busy with her father, and doesn't hang up immediately. The nurse looks at me, with "that look". I know that. look. I hate that look. I poke Deanna, and say, "Honey, we need to talk to the doctor." knowing what was about to come. We go into this room. I'm holding Gracie, Tracy has Xavier. They begin by asking who everyone is, and we all introduce ourselves; Tracy is introduced as the sister in law, and Derek introduces me as the family friend. They begin to tell us that they couldn't resuscitate Danielle.

When those words hit, everyone lost it, except for the kids and me. I am sitting there, watching a family, which has already endured an enormous loss just 9 months ago, fall to pieces once again. This time without the rock of the family, Danielle. I was in shock, and couldn't believe that God would allow such a thing. Just a mere week after a 19-year-old girl gives birth?! By now, I'm crying, scared to know what will happen now without our beloved Dani. They take us back to the ER room. There she is. On the table, like she's just asleep. We're all breaking down now. Gracie is looking at us, so freaked out. I hadn't even thought about the fact that I probably shouldn't have brought her in there to see Danielle. I try to get Tracy to give me Xavier, in an attempt to get the kids out of that room, but she refuses. I left the room with Gracie, and went outside to smoke, still bawling and trying to calm down for little Gracie. One by one, they all come outside. Even in the midst of this horrible tragedy in "our" family, Tracy doesn't let Derek and me near each other for more than a few seconds. I want to run up and hold Derek and just cry with him, the same as when mom died 9 months ago, but I know I'm not "allowed" to touch him since she was there. Relationship or not, blood or not, we're still family damn it, and even without the blood between us all, I needed comfort too.

Dreams and fears

The next week is a blur. We go to the funeral home, set everything up. I stayed by Deanna's side, helping with both the kids all the way until the funeral day, which was 3 days after the wake, near Chicago. I remember the first time Derek kissed me after Dani died. I felt like he was just being a whore, but I needed him. I needed someone. I wasn't blood so no one thought that I might need a little support. Sometimes I really believe that just like soul mates- as in relationships, it also goes for friendships. I believe that Deanna and her family were meant to be my best friends/family for life. All that we've gone though, so much pain, so many good times, and so many memories. I will always claim them as my family, best friends, soul mates. I only hope that Tracy and I can someday settle our differences about the whole Derek thing. We have spoken about it, forgiven each other, and even hung out, but I can still feel awkwardness. Deanna will always be in my life, I've decided I couldn't get rid of her, and she couldn't get rid of me even if we tried out hardest!
Family is family no matter what kind, and family does not quit."

Dreams and Fears

Just like dreams, fears come true
We learned this when we lost you
Your dream came true
When he was born
But our fears came true
When you were torn
Your long life was ripped away
Now you watch us as we pray
And although we wish you hadn't had to go
We'll all make sure to let Xavier know
His mommy was strong, proud, and pure
We're all so lucky to have ever known her
She was so caring, sweet, and always true
And with every ounce of her soul, she loves you
She's watching us now, from up above
Sad that we must grieve, but sending all her love
She wants us to know, it'll all be okay
And that we'll all see her again someday"

Kara came for a drink

A friend of Jenny's lived across the street from Mark. Kara invited her over to drink for the night, so Jenny went there and planned to drink herself into oblivion. A fifth of whiskey later, Jenny was plastered and Kara had passed out when the bottle was halfway gone. No one wants to sit around by themselves when they're drunk, so Jenny started calling all of her friends. Her friend, Martin, AKA Pumba, came over to hang out with her. She went across the street to let her ex-husband know that he would be hanging out with her and to check on her baby boy.

Jenny remembered opening her eyes as Pumba put his dick in her mouth. She was passed out, and once again, being raped. "Suck that dick baby, yeah put it in your mouth" she heard him saying. That sick bastard needed to be shot, but no one was there to help her. She was in and out of consciousness. The next time she came to, she heard a loud knock on Kara's front door as Pumba jumped off of her and ran to the living room, letting Jenny fall to the floor. As Jenny curled up on the floor she just cried and held herself. Would it ever stop? What had she done to deserve this again? She had done something wrong. She trusted a man. Jenny's ex-husband, Mark, and Pumba appeared in the doorway looking down at Jenny. She felt like a freak of nature on exhibit. For a few moments she was terrified that her husband had come to join in on Pumba's festivities, but thankfully it wasn't like that. "Why the hell is my ex-wife lying on the floor half naked crying while you're standing here sweating and out of breath?" Mark asked the so-called friend. She heard her ex-husband asking Pumba what was going on and he replied that Jenny was so drunk that she passed out on the toilet and he merely carried her to bed. The next morning, Jenny woke up next to her ex-husband. He began telling her everything that had happened that she could not remember. When Jenny passed out, Pumba carried her to the bedroom. Mark happened to be outside smoking at the time, and when he saw the bedroom light come on and then go right back off he got worried. He began calling both Kara and Pumba's phones, but no one was answering.

Mark came over and pounded on the door for a few minutes until Pumba finally opened the door. That was when they came into the doorway in front of Jenny. Mark simply asked Pumba what happened, and once he realized he was lying, he merely told him it was time for Pumba to leave. Her ex-husband let that man leave the house and did nothing. Jenny went into frenzy once he left. Mark could only calm her when he backed away from her and calmly called her Jenny Lou or Lou-Lou, the names her Aunt Sandy and close family always called her. Mark said that Jenny wouldn't let anyone touch her. She went and hid in the bathtub at one point so that no one could get to her. She started begging Mark for a knife, she needed it right then. She needed to punish herself; she should've known not to trust a man. She knew better. Jenny finally calmed down and let Mark touch her once Kara was awake. She took a few anxiety pills and Mark took her home to sleep. Jenny had been raped by someone she had known for 4 years. Someone she thought was a friend.